Reflections on Ice
by J Daydreamer
Summary: Myka had to get away, to reflect.


Myka awoke early, looking out her bedroom window, noticing more snow had fallen during the night. Moving with purpose, she dressed quickly before rustling through her closet to find what she needed.

Knowing Pete would worry when he didn't see her at the breakfast table, she scribbled a quick note, pushing it under his door telling him where she would be.

Silently she crept downstairs, out the front door and into the brisk winter morning. Growing up in Colorado, Myka had long ago learned to embrace the winter. She loved the season, loved the snow and the softness it created. Her walk was quiet and pleasant and soon enough she found herself standing at the edge of a small pond she had discovered years ago when she first settled in at the B&B.

She hadn't been here in years, not since…Helena, she suddenly realized. She had brought Helena here not long after she had been reinstated as a warehouse agent, before the events of Yellowstone. Myka thought the beauty of this spot, of nature, would show Helena that some things remain the same even after a century. They had spent a pleasant afternoon here, spread out on a blanket only large enough for two, sharing a simple meal of fruit, cheese and crackers. They laughed and talked, sharing stories of various missions at their respective warehouses and discussing favorite literature.

Myka remembered how Helena had delighted in the way a gentle breeze created soft ripples along the water's surface, slightly distorting the reflection of the blue sky and white clouds above.

The pond looked much different now, frozen with a thin layer of snow covering its surface. Myka found a large rock nearby and brushing off the snow, sat to exchange her hiking shoes for a pair of worn ice skates.

It had been years since she ice-skated, not since one of her first artifact missions with Pete, over five years ago. He had laughed at her explanation that the exercise helped her think, but it truly did. She needed to think now.

Tightening her laces, she gingerly stepped onto the ice. She moved cautiously at first. Frozen ponds were by no means the same as the smooth glass-like surface of an ice rink. Small pebbles, tree branches, ripples of the pond itself made for an uneven surface for ice-skating. She circled the pond, getting the feel of it, of all the little dips and hollows, skating around partially submerged tree branches. Eventually her focus shifted from the obstacles before her on the ice and turned inward, to the obstacle she had just faced and won…and yet another obstacle she had yet to face.

Her cancer had at last gone into remission. The treatments had been grueling, and even now she wasn't yet back to her normal self. Her appetite had mostly returned, but her curly hair was not yet the length she desired it to be. At least she had hair again and no more need to wear hats. Thinking of hats, Myka had to smile. Her warehouse family had been wonderful through that entire ordeal. Claudia had offered to shave her own head in solidarity, but Myka managed to talk her out of it. That didn't stop Claudia from wearing an oversized sombrero anytime they went out in public together though, effectively drawing any unwanted attention away from Myka. She chuckled softly to herself at the thought. Pete on the other hand had shaved his head and quickly discovered it was not as good a look on him as it was for Steve. Needless to say, her partner checked the mirror for signs of new hair growth more often than she did.

Losing her hair had been difficult, but it didn't compare to the days spent nauseated beyond belief, with no relief in sight. There were days where she didn't leave the bathroom floor, Pete finally bringing her a blanket and pillow to set on the cool tile. Worse than the sickness was having her family see her that way. Myka had always prided herself on being able to take care of herself, but the illness swiftly took away all her pride and independence. She was forced to rely on her family for support, even for such small tasks as getting in and out of bed.

Myka shook her riotous curls, brushing away an escaped tear. Those days were behind her now. If anything, it had made her and her family stronger.

She hadn't come to the pond to think about the cancer though. She had donned her skates to help her think through another obstacle. Helena. Myka hated to think of her in that term, but in a way, Helena was an obstacle to her. She had to know what exactly it was between them so she knew what direction to proceed.

Myka had long figured out that her feelings for Helena went beyond mere friendship, but they had carefully never crossed the line between friendship and something more. At one time she had thought Helena might actually share her feelings, until Wisconsin happened.

Myka sighed heavily at the thought, even as she continued to effortlessly skate across the pond, weaving in between the obstacles that dotted the surface. The cancer had often left her too tired to read or even watch a movie, but thoughts of Helena wouldn't leave her, even as she lied curled in a hospital bed or on a tiled bathroom floor. Always, she thought of Helena. Pete had offered to call her, tell her of the illness, but Myka made him promise not to. Reluctantly he had agreed.

But facing death has a funny way of putting things into perspective. Myka made herself a promise, that if the cancer did go into remission, she would talk to Helena about this…whatever it was between them. Even if they only remained friends, it was worth it to have Helena in her life. Anthony Bishop had said it exactly, 'one more second with her is happier than a lifetime without her.' Myka felt that way about Helena.

Now the only obstacle standing in the way was herself. How to approach Helena? Should she just show up on her doorstep in Wisconsin? Myka didn't necessarily like that idea. Who knew who would answer the door? Ask her for that coffee date then? Something that had confused Myka a little at the time; she'd never known Helena to drink coffee, only tea. But then, she was probably just speaking metaphorically, and besides, Myka did like coffee.

She was thinking too much about this. She groaned, frustrated with herself, and began to skate a little faster.

This reunion didn't have to be anything grand or elaborate. Perhaps just a phone call then? Yes, that could work. 'Helena, I'm in love with you.' No, Myka shook her head despondently, that wouldn't work. Something of that magnitude, even if it wasn't reciprocated, should definitely be spoken in person. She would have to go to Wisconsin then.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the soft sounds of approaching footsteps. She had easily lost track of the time out here on the ice, but no doubt Pete had come to get her at last. Probably a good thing she realized. She hadn't noticed it before, but it had begun snowing again, and the cold was beginning to affect her.

"Okay, Pete, I'm coming," she called out without looking up from the ice.

"Not Pete, thankfully," came a distinctly accented voice that held a hint of amusement; a voice Myka would know anywhere.

Myka lifted wide eyes to see the most beautiful sight standing at the edge of the pond, staring back at her. "Helena?" she spoke dazed, just before her skate sought out a protruding branch within the ice, sending Myka sprawling ungracefully across the ice to land on her backside.

Too dazed to move, unsure if the vision had been just that, Myka remained flat on her back, staring up into the gray sky as snowflakes gently assaulted her. She let out a light laugh, because it just figured, of all the scenarios she thought of to see Helena again, this one had decidedly not been one of them.

"Myka, darling, are you all right?" Helena asked concerned, though hearing her laughter, Helena thought was a good sign nothing was broken. The fall had been rather…impressive.

Myka heard Helena scuffling across the ice to her. "I'm fine," she answered. "You should really wait back on the bank. This ice is too slippery to walk on in just boots," she warned.

"Nonsense. I'm perfectly capable of managing a little ice." No sooner were the words spoken than Helena too tripped over the very same tree branch, sending her head over heels to land unceremoniously on top of Myka.

Myka let out a startled oomph, even as her arms reflexively wrapped around Helena.

"You were saying?" Myka asked, her green eyes mirthful.

"Yes, well, perhaps this is a bit more ice than I'm capable of," Helena conceded, her brown eyes softening as she looked at the woman beneath her.

They stayed silent like that momentarily, just staring at one another. Myka had a million questions racing through her mind, most prominently, how this moment came to be, but it was forgotten the second Helena leant down to touch soft lips to Myka's in a gentle kiss.

Too soon, Helena pulled back from the kiss, fear passing through her eyes. "I'm sorry, Myka, I shouldn't have done that," she spoke softly, trying to remove herself from Myka's gentle grasp.

Myka pulled her back so firmly, Helena let out an oomph of her own as she settled back on top of Myka. Before she could say another word, Myka nestled a hand in Helena's silky tresses, guiding her back down to kiss her, deepening the kiss enough to elicit a moan from Helena at the contact.

They pulled away moments later, both breathless, their eyes each searching the other. Suddenly Myka looked away, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Myka, darling, what is it?" Helena asked concerned, gently guiding Myka to look at her again.

"Is this a dream, Helena? Are you really here, or am I just imagining this now, the way I have a thousand times?" she whispered.

Helena shook her head, tears gathering in her own eyes as she gently brushed away Myka's. "No, darling, this isn't a dream. I'm really here…for good," she added knowing that was likely to be Myka's next question.

"Why now?" Myka asked.

Helena remained silent for a long moment, reflecting.

"I'm finally done walking away from my truth, Myka, from you. Everything else has all been a lie, but you. You have always seen the real me," Helena spoke adamantly.

"You are all I need," she said gently brushing slender fingers through Myka's shortened curls. "You've cut your hair?" Helena asked surprised.

Myka shook her head. "I didn't cut it. It fell out during radiation treatments."

Helena's hand stilled at the words, her eyes searching Myka's for further explanation.

"I had cancer, Helena."

Helena closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing. Opening them once more, Myka saw the sorrow reflected in their depths.

"Myka," Helena whispered sadly, "Had I known…"

"I know," Myka interrupted.

"Why…why didn't you tell me?" she asked sadly.

"You were healing in your own way, Helena, so was I."

"I'm still healing," Helena admitted softly.

"So am I," Myka answered.

Helena leant down to brush a kiss across Myka's forehead. "I'm so sorry, Myka, for everything I've done, for everything I've put you through. I fear nothing will atone for the mistakes I've made regarding you."

"Shh, you're here now, Helena. That's all that matters to me," Myka spoke comfortingly, tightening her hold of the other woman to silently communicate she wasn't about to let her go again.

"You're unlike anyone I've ever known, Myka Bering," Helena whispered reverently, running her hands through Myka's curls once more. "I love you."

Myka's eyes widened in surprise to hear the very words she longed to hear from Helena actually being spoken. Her surprise quickly dissipated as she grinned happily. "I love you too."

Helena laughed before covering Myka's lips with hers once more. Parting, she spoke again. "We do however have much to talk about."

"We do," Myka agreed. "But it can wait until later."

Helena raised an eyebrow. "Later?"

"Much later," Myka grinned pulling Helena back down for another heated kiss.

Pulling away once more, Myka sighed. "We should probably head back to the B&B."

"Mmm. I like our position now," Helena argued.

Myka laughed lightly. "I'm not opposed to this position, I'd just rather we take it inside where it's warmer, and possibly more private."

Helena lifted her head from Myka's shoulder to look into her eyes. "So you like this position do you?" Helena teased.

Myka blushed. "Yes," she whispered. "I love having you in my arms," she spoke honestly and audibly swallowed when she noticed Helena's eyes visibly darken.

"Then why should we leave now?"

"For starters? My backside is cold and if we stay in the same spot much longer, I'm afraid our body heat is going to melt the ice underneath us."

Helena laughed warmly. "Very well then, homeward we shall go," she said lifting herself off Myka and reaching out a hand to help Myka stand.

"You know, you're rather graceful on the ice," Helena intoned, "aside from the fall," she added.

"You sound surprised," Myka spoke lightly.

"Well, you must admit, you can be rather unwieldy oftentimes."

"Are you calling me clumsy?" Myka asked as she skated forward to catch Helena in a hug, but misjudged the force of her skate, sending them both down to the ice once more, this time Myka lying on top of Helena.

"Rather proving my point, aren't you darling?" Helena asked, her eyes sparkling in the soft morning light.

Myka smiled before leaning down to husk into Helena's ear. "I can be graceful when the need arises."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Myka replied, licking softly at Helena's ear.

"Oh, I see. Well, then…shall we…uh…"

Myka lifted herself to meet Helena's eyes and smirked. "Have I rendered H.G. Wells speechless?"

"Only momentarily, I assure you. I'll get my bearings in a moment," she said, still trying to calm her breathing, surprised by this uninhibited side of Myka.

"Oh, you're sure to get one Bering at least," Myka smiled, lifting herself off Helena and helping her to her feet.

"The only Bering I need," Helena assured as they at last stepped off the ice together.


End file.
